[ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
.”On the threshold of their house a smiling cyborg appeared.“Hiya, Josh.I thought you were going to keep up the payments on the Jazz Archives Entertainment Unit.Since Glendora is so fond of it”“On the what?”“On Jelly Roll Morton and His Red Hot Peppers,” said Inspector Custer of the Territorial Credit Detective Agency.Custer turned his half-metal head to call into the house, “We’re still missing the diamond out of Jelly Roll’s front tooth, boys.Keep hunting around.”“Oh,” said Glendora.“I think I gave the diamond to the goat milk people to settle our last bill.”Custer smiled with his iron teeth.He pushed a button on his left hand, which was made of copper, and a folding of fax paper whirred out of the wrist slot.“I think I gave you this already, Glendora, but it won’t hurt to give you another copy.Tells you how to balance your budget I didn’t write it myself, though I’m a pretty good buddy of the computer who did.Really, anybody should be able to live within their means.”“Excuse me, Inspector,” said one of the lizard movers.“We can’t locate one set of drumsticks and one trombone.”“Here’s the trombone,” said Glendora.“We’ll forget about the sticks,” said Custer.“TCDA is capable of a magnanimous gesture now and again.”“I’d like to go in and take a shower,” said Josh.“If we still have a bathroom.”Custer’s right elbow clicked and a streamer of yellow paper came out.After consulting it, he said, “You kids are only thirty days behind on that solid-state compact health spa bathroom.So I won’t be coming after it for.oh, say, another month or two.Maybe by then you’ll get some coherence into your financial picture.”“I saw an ad in the last Sears catalog for a robot clerk,” said Glendora as she handed the trombone around to the lizard man, “who’s supposed to be very good at managing household funds.He’s about this high with a little green eyeshade and only costs fifteen hundred dollars.”“Gee, Glendora.”Custer said, “With all the retrievals today, Josh, I missed the public execution.It’ll be rerun, won’t it?”“At eight and ten tonight” said Josh.“And we sold an edited-down version to the Tarragon Kids’ Network, so it’ll be on all the schoolcasts across the planet tomorrow at ten a.m.”Snapping his copper fingers, Custer said, “Doggone.My oldest boy won’t be in school tomorrow.We have to take him into the capital to get his first tin ear.He’s a great fan of Ma Boskins.”“Oh, so?” said Josh.“I suppose she was one of the great mass poisoners of the decade,” said the inspector.“One of the great mass poisoners of the century,” corrected Josh automatically.“Both the boys have to have Ma Boskins Mass Poisoner Games and the littlest girl screamed for a Ma Boskins victim doll with three changes of costume,” said the still-smiling cyborg.“Of course my oldest girl prefers Stungun Slim.At that age they seem to go for the mad-dog killer type.When have you got him scheduled for?”“The execution date isn’t firm yet,” said Josh.“It’ll probably be the middle of next month.”Custer nodded.“You know, Josh, a young fellow like yourself with a topflight mind and an enviable position shouldn’t be in hock all the time.Maybe after you read that little budget booklet you’ll be able to get yourself unscrewed.”“Yeah, maybe.” Josh pushed around the partially metal inspector and went into the house.It did look more spacious with Jelly Roll Morton’s Red Hot Peppers and one wall gone.* * * *Slightly hunched, Josh sat in his den talking to their computer.“For a nine-thousand-dollar portable table-top computer,” he told the little silver machine, “you’re not much help.”“What did I tell you before, ninny? You should have bought the four-thousand-dollar home computer J.C.Penney makes.It’s plenty good enough for your needs.”“Yes, but Glendora thought.”“Ah,” said the machine on Josh’s floating desk.“Okay, okay.I know she’s a little extravagant, but—”“I’ll say she is.Twelve thousand dollars for Jelly Roll Morton and His Red Hot Peppers in musical simulacra form from Sloane’s Barnum System Android Store,” remarked the little computer.“Twelve thousand dollars for a half-dozen mechanical jigaboos.”“I don’t know why they programmed you to be a bigot.”“Just one of the many extras in the nine-thousand-dollar model.Twelve thousand dollars for Jelly Roll Morton.That’s where the money goes.”“Yeah, but originally she wanted the Benny Goodman big band,” Josh reminded the computer.“You should have talked her into the Benny Goodman quartet,” said the machine.“I’ve always thought those Lionel Hampton andies were sort of fun, and they know their place.”“Look, the problem now is.how far in the hole are we?” said Josh.“I’ve stuck with a job I really have strong qualms about for almost a year mainly because of the relatively good salary.I mean, on an income of nearly fifty thousand dollars-a year I think we—”“Have you heard about the quint?”Josh slouched a little more in his servochair and watched the ceiling of the den for a moment.“The what?”“She just ordered a quint from Abercrombie and Fitch,” the computer told him.“Price tag: four thousand dollars.”“More sports equipment?”“Chump, a quint is a small furry animal native to the planet Murdstone.It is supposed to be quite intelligent and be able to speak a little.Quite a fad object in the upper-middle-class circles here on Tarragon.”“Fifty thousand dollars a year doesn’t put you in the upper middle class.”“So tell your wife
[ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]