[ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
.And before you say anything, I know this is my fault.I just don’t know how it’s my fault.” Elijah drew in a deep breath and lightly kissed the nape of Ruben’s neck.“I’m not a mind reader, Ru.”“You’re just not going to give this up until you get your pound of flesh, are you?”Elijah chuckled lightly.“I’m a lawyer, Ru.Arguing my case is what I do.”Silence hung in the air, making Elijah wonder if Ruben was going to answer him or not.He began to grow worried when Ruben drew in a deep breath and slowly let it out.Elijah stayed where he was, his front pressed against Ruben’s back.He thought maybe the man might need the extra support.He hoped, anyway.“Mahra was the first woman I was ever with,” Ruben said softly.“She was also the last woman I was ever with.And it only happened that one time.You’re the only man I’ve ever been with, and it only happened that one time.So I’ve had sex exactly twice in my entire life.”“Sweet mercy.” He was a fucking virgin.Elijah closed his eyes and tried to breathe as the knowledge that he had been Ruben’s one and only filled every cell in his body.He didn’t know whether to groan at the multitude of complications that brought him or shout for joy that no one had touched this beautiful man except him.Mahra didn’t count.“I am so sorry, Ruben,” he whispered against the man’s hair as guilt ate at him.“I took something that should have been so special for you and turned it into a nightmare.That wasn’t my intention.”“Wha—” Ruben cleared his throat.“What did you intend then?”“I don’t know if I had any specific intentions, Ru.I just knew I had wanted you since the first day I saw you, and I couldn’t deny myself anymore, not when you seemed to want it, too.”Ruben swallowed as he glanced over his shoulder at Elijah.“But you don’t want me.”Elijah shook his head as his grip eased slightly.“I do want you, Ru.I’m just not sure what I want.” He hoped Ruben understood what he was saying.Elijah was confused as hell, but he knew he couldn’t live without Ruben.The man was all he dreamt about.He couldn’t see a life without him there in some manner.“You sure know how to give mixed signals,” Ruben said as he continued to look over his shoulder at Elijah.“What do you want from me?”Elijah released Ruben as he took a step back, running his hand through his hair.What did he want? He gave the only answer that came to mind, the one true thing he really needed.“Time.” Ruben turned around, facing him as he cocked his head, studying Elijah with an intensity that made Elijah feel as though Ruben could see right into his soul.“I guess I can give you that.” Elijah wasn’t sure if Ruben knew what he truly meant, but he’d take that for now.His old fears were riding him hard.The nightmare he had lived through when his lover was beaten to death for being gay was at the surface.He wouldn’t survive if that happened to Ruben.“Thank you.”Ruben stood, pushing away from the car as he took a step toward Elijah.“But you better not push me away again.” Elijah got the meaning.This was his one shot at Ruben Blaecleah.Ruben was giving himself to Elijah.Now it was up to him to decide if he was man enough to step up to the plate and take the offering.Elijah nodded as he walked around to the passenger side.“We need to get to the ranch.”Ruben’s eyes widened, and then he pulled the driver’s door open, hurrying inside.Elijah barely got into the passenger side before Ruben tore away from the snowy shoulder, heading for home.* * * *Ruben’s jaw dropped when he drove up in front of the house.Ma stood on the porch with Alani in her arms.She was pacing back and forth, and she did not look happy.Below her, standing in the middle of the steps, was a wall of Blaecleah brothers.Da was positioned at the bottom of the steps, his arms crossed over his chest and his legs slightly parted as if daring anyone to pass him.They were creating a barrier between Alani and the one woman Ruben hoped never to see again in his lifetime.He ground his teeth when he pulled to a stop and turned the engine off.Janice McCallister stood in front of Da arguing with him.His temper shot up inside of him as he slammed the car door, making everyone turn to look at him.“What do you want?”His biological mother, Janice McCallister, glared at him, her lips thinning as she raked a disapproving look over Ruben.Her eyes cut to Elijah.She turned a deep shade of red as she shook a finger at Ruben.“That is no way to talk to your mother.” For a heartbeat, Ruben felt regret.He pushed it aside when he remembered the way his mother had been when he was growing up.“My mother is standing on the porch with my daughter.” He nodded toward Ma.“Now, what do you want, Janice?” His birth mother’s head snapped back as if Ruben had struck her.Her eyes narrowed.The look didn’t have the desired effect Ruben knew she had hoped it would.The woman didn’t intimidate him anymore.Ruben no longer had an innate feeling to make sure peace reigned
[ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]