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.“What did he say?” I asked.“You seemed to be having quite a conversation.”“Talked about the weather mostly.Seems like an okay guy.”“I don’t know.Whenever I see him, I get the feeling he’s hiding something.”William laughed.“You’re one spooky kid sometimes, you know that?”“What do you mean?”“I forget sometimes how intuitive you are, but we all keep secrets you know.I’ll bet you’ve stored up a few since I saw you last.Johnny’s probably no different.So how’s Dad been?”Smooth change of topic, I thought.I let it go.“You know.Dad’s Dad.”I nearly tripped on a rock in the road and William reached out a hand to steady me.“He seems more agitated than normal,” he said.“Dad was laid off again in the spring but it just lasted a few weeks before they called him back.He asked us not to talk about it.You know how he gets when he can’t control things.Plus he’s getting headaches again.”“Bad ones like before?”“Yeah.”“That’s not good.”“Tell me about it.Mom says he’s worried about me getting in with the wrong crowd.”“You giving him reason?”“Do you really think he needs one?”I could hear the smile in William’s voice.“Probably not.So how are things with you anyway?”“I could do without our cousin here.What’s going on with her parents anyway?”“Aunt Peg drinks … a lot.She used to just drink at night, but now she starts as soon as she gets up in the morning.“No way.How long has she been doing that?”“A long time.Elizabeth’s been left on her own since she started high school.Maybe earlier.Uncle Ed doesn’t spend much time at home.”I stopped walking.“So the question is, does Uncle Ed not go home because Aunt Peg drinks or does Aunt Peg drink because Uncle Ed doesn’t come home?”“I’d tell you if I knew.”“I still don’t like Elizabeth much.Does that make me mean?”“Not really.She’s got that tough act down.Makes it hard to warm up to her.”“She likes you just fine.In fact, she likes most boys just fine.”“Give her a chance, Dar.She’s not so bad.”“Spoken like a true male.Oh yeah, and she keeps bringing up Annie.It’s like she’s trying to throw her death in my face.She has this way of looking at me like I was to blame.Dad looks at me like that too sometimes.”William stopped.He put an arm around my waist and pulled me closer.He leaned into me and spoke low and fierce into my ear.“You were six, Darlene.It wasn’t your fault that Dad was looking after you when Annie drowned.You were just a kid.”“Tell that to Dad,” I said.“I’m the one he can hardly bear to be around.” I was miserable.Being miserable made me angry.“Sometimes I think he wishes it was me instead of Annie.I’ll bet Elizabeth would rather it was me too.”William pulled me tighter and my ribs hurt under the pressure of his arm.“It’s not an either or deal.You know we’d all be heartbroken if anything had happened to you.”I nodded into his chest.“We couldn’t bear if anything … anything, happened … to … you.”I nodded again, inhaling the smell of the woods and sweat and sincerity that was my brother.“I know,” I whispered, but in the empty hollow where my heart beat, I didn’t believe him.He let go of me and we started walking again.A few steps farther on he grabbed my hand.He swung our hands back and forth.We didn’t speak again until the lights of the store came into view.“So, are you seeing anybody?” I asked.“Mom said you broke up with Gail.”“Gail! Man, she was a long time ago.I’ve been hanging loose, working on my studies, dating a bit.”“You’ve always got a girlfriend somewhere.Has someone broken your heart?”“Just taking a breather from women.How about you? Anybody special?”I shook my head.“Nobody special.”“It’s less painful that way, believe me.”His voice was sad.I wished I could see his face more clearly.“So there is someone.”“There was, but it’s over.Just sometimes when I see her.” He took me by the arm.“I don’t know how you’ve dragged this out of me, but I’m done talking about women and my damaged heart.Buy you an ice cream cone?”“You’re on,” I said.“I always could be bought off with ice cream.”“Whatever works to get your mind off my love life.Race you back.I’ll give you to the tree as a head start.”I started running.“Get ready to eat my dust,” I called over my shoulder.Chapter TenElizabeth and I walked with William across the sand as the sun cast dark shadows across the lake.The day’s heat had settled into a milky haze on the water, but a breeze was making the evening more bearable than the day.William pulled a full case of Blue from a cooler in the back seat of his Volkswagen beetle, and after we took up our position between the bonfire and the shoreline, he popped the tops of three beer bottles with an opener and handed us each a semi-cold one.I took a sip and swished the beer around in my mouth before swallowing.Michelle and Danny were late and I kept searching for them, my eyes sliding past Elizabeth to scan up the beach.When I finally spotted the two of them coming towards us, they weren’t holding hands like they usually did and were walking a little apart.I looked at Elizabeth.She’d turned and was watching them too with a little smile on her face.When they made it to our circle, William and I moved away from each other to give them some space.My brother handed them each a beer.Michelle avoided looking at Elizabeth, who was busy tossing around her hair and smiling at Danny — full-on smiling when she saw that Michelle wasn’t looking.After a while, Elizabeth moved around me closer to Danny and reached for his hand.Luckily, Michelle was talking to William and turned away from them.Nearly everyone at the beach party came up to talk to my brother.He welcomed everyone with a handshake or a hug and included them in our ever-widening circle.Ben Murdoch slung an arm around his neck.They’d been best friends at the lake as long as I could remember.“Ben! How are you, buddy?” William asked.“So who’s the chick in Toronto? She must be really something to keep you from the lake.” Ben said.“Not a she.” William turned and spoke into Ben’s ear.I tried to listen, but the music was loud and too many people were talking.Ben kept nodding at whatever William was saying.I heard Ben say, “Right on, man.Whatever you need me to do.”A lot of yelling behind us and we all turned to watch Tyler Livingstone swagger across the beach with his arm draped over Jane Ratherford’s shoulder.Her entourage of girlfriends trailed behind them, giggling and talking loudly.By the time they made it to our group, I’d stepped back a few paces to be out of range.“Hey, man,” Tyler said, grabbing William by the hand and pumping it up and down.“Darlene told me you were home.Great to see you, man.” He looked past William like he was searching for someone.Elizabeth stepped forward.“Hi, Tyler.I was wondering if you’d be by tonight.”Tyler squinted, trying to bring my cousin into focus.Jane grabbed him by the arm and whispered something into his ear.She started pulling him away from the group.“He’s drunk as a skunk,” said Michelle.“As drunk as I want to be,” said Danny
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