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.High rollers.Get your quarters up.Jessie, you in?I'm in, said Jessie.Billy sat on the stool at the bar next to John Grady.They watched while the players put their quarters in the machine.The numbers rolled back and the bells chinged.Troy poured powdered wax from a can onto the alley and slid the puck back and forth and bent to shoot.Bowlin school is now open, he said.Show us somethin.You'd be surprised what all you can learn from a experienced player.He slid the puck down the boards.The bells rang.He stepped back and popped his fingers.Things, he said, that will stand you in good stead all your life.I need to talk to you, said John Grady.Billy blew smoke across the room.All right, he said.Let's go back in the back.All right.They took their beers and walked to the rear of the place where there were tables and chairs and a bandstand and a polished concrete dancefloor.They kicked back two chairs and sat at one of the tables and set their bottles down.The place was dim and musty.I'll bet I know what this is about, said Billy.Yeah.I know.He sat peeling the label from his beerbottle with his thumb nail while he listened.He didnt even look up at John Grady.John Grady told him about the girl and about the White Lake and about Eduardo and he told him what the blind maestro had said.When he'd finished Billy still hadnt looked up but he'd stopped peeling the beerlabel.He didnt say anything.After a whilehe took his cigarettes from his pocket and lit one and laid the pack and his lighter on the table.You are shittin me aint you? he said.No.I guess I aint.What the hell's wrong with you? Have you been drinkin paint thinner or somethin?John Grady pushed his hat back.He looked out across the floor.No, he said.Let me see if I got this straight.You want me to go to a whorehouse in Ju‡rez Mexico and buy this whore cash money and bring her back across the river to the ranch.Is that about the size of it?John Grady nodded.Shit, said Billy.Smile or somethin, will you? Goddamn.Tell me you aint gone completely crazy.I aint gone completely crazy.The hell you aint.I'm in love with her, Billy.Billy slumped back in his chair.His arms hung uselessly by his side.Aw goddamn, he said.Goddamn.I cant help what it sounds like.My own damn fault.I never should of took you down there.Never in this world.It's my fault.Hell, I dont even know what I'm complainin about.He leaned and took his lighted cigarette from the tin ashtray where he'd put it and took a pull on it and blew the smoke across the table.He shook his head.Tell me this, he said.All right.What in the goddamn hell would you do with her if you did get her away from down there? Which you aint.Marry her.Billy paused with the cigarette half way to his mouth.He put it down again.Well that's it, he said.That's it.I'm havin your ass committed.I mean it, Billy.Billy leaned back in the chair.After a while he threw up one hand.I cant believe my goddamn ears.I think I'm the one that's gone crazy.I'm a son of a bitch if I dont.Have you lost your rabbitassed mind? I'm an absolute son of a bitch, bud.I never in my goddamn life heard the equal of this.I know.I cant help it.The hell you cant.Will you help me?No and hell no.Do you know what they're goin to do with you? They're goin to hook your head up to one of them machines and throw a big switch and fry your brains to where you wont be a menace to yourself no more.I mean it, Billy.You think I dont mean it? I'm goin to help em hook up the wires.I cant go down there.He knows who I am.Look at me, son.You're not makin no sense.What the hell kind of people do you think it is you're talkin about? Do you really think you can go down there and dicker with some greaser pimp that buys and sells people outright like you was goin down to the courthouse lawn to trade knives?I cant help it.Will you quit sayin that, goddamn it? What the hell do you mean you cant help it?Just let it go.It's all right.It's all right? Shit.He slumped in the chair.You want another beer? No, I dont.I want a goddamn quart of whiskey.I dont blame you for not wantin no part of it.Well I'm glad as all hell to hear that.He shook a cigarette out of the pack.You got one lit, John Grady said.Billy paid him no mind.You got no money, he said.So I dont know how in the hell you propose to go shoppin for whores.I'll get it.Get it where?I'll get it.How much were you plannin to offer him?Two thousand dollars.Two thousand dollars.Yeah.Well.If there was any doubt at all there sure aint now.You've gone completely crazy and that's all there is to be said about it.Aint it?I dont know.Well I do.Where in the hell, where in the goddamn hell, do you think you're goin to get two thousand dollars at?I dont know.I'll get it.You dont make that in a year.I know it.You're in a dangerous frame of mind, son.Did you know that?Maybe.I've seen it before.You know you been actin peculiar since you had that wreck? Have you thought about that? Look at me.I'm serious.I aint crazy, Billy.Well one of us is.Shit.I blame myself.That's all.Blame myself.It dont have nothin to do with you.The hell it dont.It's all right.Just let it go.Billy leaned back in his chair.He stared at the two cigarettes burning in the ashtray.After a while he pushed his hat back and passed his hand across his eyes and across his mouth and pulled the hat down again and looked across the room.Out at the bar the shuffleboard bells rang.He looked at John Grady.How did you ever get in such a mess?I dont know.How did you let it get this far?I dont know.I feel some way like I didnt have nothin to do with it.Like it's just the way it is.Like it always was this way.Billy shook his head sadly.More craziness, he said.It aint too late, you know.Yes it is.It's never too late.You just need to make up your mind.It's done made up.Well unmake it.Start again.Two months ago I'd of agreed with you.Now I know better.There's some things you dont decide.Decidin had nothin to do with it.They sat for a long time.He looked at John Grady and he looked out across the room.The dusty dancefloor, the empty bandstand.The shapes of a covered drumset.He pushed back his chair and stood and set the chair back carefully at its place at the table and then he turned and walked out across the room and through the bar and out the door.*ÊÊ*ÊÊ*LATE THAT NIGHT lying in his bunk in the dark he heard the kitchen door close and heard the screendoor close after it.He lay there.Then he sat and swung his feet to the floor and got his boots and his jeans and pulled them on and put on his hat and walked out.The moon was almost full and it was cold and late and no smoke rose from the kitchen chimney.Mr Johnson was sitting on the back stoop in his duckingcoat smoking a cigarette.He looked up at John Grady and nodded.John Grady sat on the stoop beside him.What are you doin out here without your hat? he said.I dont know.You all right?Yeah.I'm all right.Sometimes you miss bein outside at night.You want a cigarette?No thanks.Could you not sleep either?No sir.I guess not.How's them new horses?I think he done all right.Them was some boogerish colts I seen penned up in the corral.I think he's goin to sell off some of them.Horsetradin, the old man said.He shook his head.He smoked.Did you used to break horses, Mr Johnson?Some.Mostly just what was required.I was never a twister in any sense of the word.I got hurt once pretty bad.You can get spooked and not know it.Just little things.You dont hardly even know it.But you like to ride.I do.Margaret could outride me two to one though.As good a woman with a horse as I ever saw.Way bettern me.Hard thing for a man to admit but it's the truth
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