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.I’m going tomorrow!” She laughs at the thought.She has an ugly face when she laughs.Then I understand.I remember the way she was when she arrived.Hair in a mess—and her hair was never in a mess.Never.And I say, “You were with someone.Charlie saw you with someone.” And she does not deny it, she says, “Charlie shouldn’t have come back when he did.” She is cold, like ice.Then I say things, I speak my mind, I tell her what I think of her.I say many things—too many things—but I am so angry with her, Alex! Angry for what she has done to Charlie.’ Her eyes blazed briefly, she clenched her lips together until the worst of her wrath had passed.‘Then she tells me, “Well, think what you like, but I’ve had enough, and I’m taking what I’m owed.” “Owed!” I say.“What can you be owed?” “Money,” she says.I cannot believe what I’m hearing.I cannot believe she can say such a thing! I just stare at her, Alex! I just stare,’ And then we come to the sluice.She says it’s too hard for her to wind.We have to do it together.And then we can’t finish it, it won’t shut all the way.’ She was racing on now, trying to get thestory over as quickly as possible.‘There’s something wrong, we cannot close it all the way, so we must leave it.So we go on to the next sluice.And Grace, she is angry again, saying bad things.She was like this, Alex, a very angry person.Deep down, underneath all this beauty, she was angry and heartless and cruel.You understand this? You—’The telephone rang.We fell silent until it had stopped some time after the fifth ring.When Maggie resumed, it was in a quieter tone.‘I am thinking to myself, who is it that Grace is with? She is leaving tomorrow—who is she with? And why is she so angry about the sluice? She has never cared about the farm, she has never cared about the marsh.And then, of course, I see it, Alex! I see it! Edward.It must be Edward.And I think of what this will do to Will, to his pride.’She chose her words with concentration, drawing deep on her memory.‘I said to her, “You don’t get money if you cheat on your husband.” And she laughed.She laughed, Alex.She said, “It’s all different now.I get half the house, half the cash.I checked it out.I went to a lawyer.” “But it will ruin Will,” I said.But she didn’t care, Alex.She didn’t care.For her, this was a fine punishment to him for not giving her what she wanted.She was glad.I saw it in her face—she was glad.And then it comes to me—oh, it was like a knife in my heart, Alex—it comes to me: Charlie.“But not Charlie,” I said.“After this, you will not take Charlie.” Sheturned to me, and she said, very cool, “I will take Charlie.Of course I will take Charlie.He’s mine.”’A car crawled along the quay, coming closer.Fearing the Range Rover, I craned forward to look out of the window but it was a small black saloon, heading across the hard towards the edge of the creek.‘She was winding the sluice,’ Maggie continued.‘All the time she was angry and full of hate.I watched her wind the sluice and I said, “But Will—he will fight you all the way.Each inch.He cannot be without Charlie.” And she said’—Maggie bent her head towards me on the pillow, she reached out a hand as if to touch mine—‘she said, “But he is not Will’s child in the first place!” I stared at her, I did not believe what I have heard.I thought she was just trying to say things, anything, to punish us all.But then she said, “Any test will prove it.He’s not Will’s, he is the child of my lover before Will.” She said his name—some actor called Dan Elliott.She said the name proudly, she said he had loved her, that she could have married him, should have married him if she hadn’t been crazy enough to marry Will.I stayed calm, I tried not to be angry.I said, “But Will—he loves Charlie so much, he cannot live without Charlie, you cannot take him away.” “Why not?” she said.“Charlie’s not his, I will tell him Charlie’s not his.” ’She was tiring now, her voice was raw, sheran her tongue over drying lips.‘Everything,’ she breathed.‘Grace wanted to take everything from Will.For no good reason except that her soul was cold and unkind.She did not love Charlie, she had never loved Charlie.All she wanted was to own him, to destroy his soul, his—’ She lost the word.‘Spirit?’‘Spirit,’ she affirmed with passion.‘His spirit! If Charlie had gone with her, it would have broken Will’s heart.And mine too—oh, Alex, it would have broken my heart too.’ She had slowed up now, she spoke haltingly.‘I took hold of her arm.I said you will not do this thing.She tried to pull away, but I held on to her jacket.We pulled back and forth, her jacket tore.And still she tried to walk away.She tried to walk away! To go and do these terrible things she planned, but I kept hold of the jacket as though I was holding on to my life! My life, Alex! Then she pulled her arms from the jacket, she pulled free, suddenly, with a—a jerk! She stumbled, she fell against the post.She was half over the gate.And then, Alex…’Part of me wanted to stop her there; the other part waited silently to hear the end.‘I pushed her.I did not mean to push her…Well, I’m not sure what I meant to do.I was thinking of Will and Charlie, I was thinking that I loved them more than all the world.Perhaps I wanted her to have a shock—the water, the fall.I don’t know, Alex! But I pushed her andshe fell into the pool and she was still, no movement.She floated, face down.She must have hit her head—I don’t know.I watched, I waited.I could not move.I did not want to move.I was a little mad, Alex! Crying, crying all the time.A little crazy! I kept thinking: This is God’s will! This is God’s justice! This is meant to be! And then, when the madness had gone from me, when I looked again, it was too late, Alex
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