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."Mark, you're kidding me right now, right?""That's exactly what I'm talking about.You honestly don't think you deserve this kind of attention, but that's what I'm trying to tell you—you're the prize in this equation, Becca."He moved to stand next to me, and for the first time I was aware of Mark as something besides my coach."We should probably get to the mats," I said, feeling overwhelmed."Please think about what I said," he said.I let out a humorless laugh."Don't worry," I said.Chapter 14IsaacI finished shooting at 7PM, but had to stick around afterward to talk to Johnny about what we could expect with the release of the ad campaign.He also wanted to show us a few of the best photos.I text Becca to let her know it'd be more like 7:30 when I finished.I hadn't heard back from her, but figured I'd see her in the lobby when we were done.Shane had plans with the models again, and gave me a bunch of shit about not agreeing to hang out with them.He was running his mouth about it when we walked through the lobby after the shoot.It wasn't quite 7:30, so I wasn't discouraged when I didn't see her the first time I scanned the room."Mr.Charles," I heard someone say.I knew Becca wouldn't call me that.I assumed it was someone who recognized me, so I turned with a smile in the direction of the voice.It was one of the hotel employees.She was approaching me carrying a small plastic tray.It looked like she was handing me a bill, but as she got closer, I could see that it was an envelope with my first name handwritten on the front.I had the thought that it may very well still be a bill for something as I reached out and took it off the tray."Thank you," I said hesitantly.She smiled."Someone brought it in and asked us to deliver it to you while you were in the ballroom."I'd received letters at hotels in the past, but I knew in the pit of my stomach that this one was different.I smelled the faint scent of citrus that immediately reminded me of Becca, and I instantly began dreading what the letter would say."Who's that from," Shane said, with a curt nod toward the envelope.His expression was already verging on satisfied as if he too sensed an eminent disaster was contained in this envelope."I haven't opened it yet, have I?" I asked impatiently.The models were still going over photos with Johnny, and Shane was the only one with me.I was relieved that this was the case because I already felt like I wanted to hit something."It's probably for the best," he said, as we rode up the elevator."You don't even know what it is.""I know your girl wasn't in the lobby and there was an envelope in her place.I'm not a math genius, but…"I backhanded his shoulder."Why don't you just read it?" he asked."Because I don't really feel like it right now.""You gonna hang out with me and the girls tonight?""Just shut-up Shane.I don't really want to think about it and we don't even know what's in this letter."Shane and I spent the rest of the ride in silence and made our way to the room, also without speaking.I went straight to my bedroom and closed my door, and as far as I knew, he did the same.I sat on the chaise lounge at the foot of the bed, set the envelope on the seat next to me, and rested my elbows on my knees as I contemplated opening it.I only thought about it for a few seconds before resolving to tear into it.There were two pieces of loose-leaf paper stacked on top of each other.The letter was written in neat script that spread over both pages.I did a quick, absentminded scan of it, trying to pick up clues about what it was about.Then I glanced down to the very end and saw that it was signed with the name Rebecca.I let out an exasperated sigh before returning to the beginning to start reading.Dear Isaac,I feel out of sorts at the sheer act of composing this letter because I still can't seem to make myself believe you'd even care if I showed up or not.I know you're thinking that we already addressed my insecurities and we thought I'd be able to work through them, but something happened after I left the hotel this morning.I gripped the paper tightly as ten different things crossed my mind about things that could have happened.I feel like I got to know you yesterday in a way that was very special and I'll never forget, but I wasn't entirely honest with you about some things.She had a boyfriend.I knew it.A wave of nausea hit me at the thought.I look at the picture I took with you and I just keep thinking what a faker I am.I'm not the girl in that picture, Isaac.I used to be an entirely different person.Someone you'd never go out with… but the thing is, I'm still that other person, and deep down I'll never be anyone else.Anyway, after I left this morning, I talked to a guy who's been in my life for months.He was with me when I was that other girl—the one you would have never noticed.I'm truly sorry for the bad timing, but I'm afraid I can't see you tonight.I would have loved to spend another night with you, but I have a shot at happiness with Mark, and think I shouldn't pass it up.You should know that last night with you was literally a dream come true.You've inspired me in ways you'll never know, and my night with you was something I'll remember for the rest of my life.I'm pretty sure I'll compare all future encounters to it and they will come up short.Thank you for that.Last night was a gift on so many levels.I'm sorry I delivered a note instead of telling you this myself.I should have been brave and hope that you can forgive me
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